


Good Father or Greatest Father

by Sarah1281



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, F/M, Hamilton still wants to duel everyone, Humor, Weddings, even though no one even duels anymore
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-08
Updated: 2015-12-08
Packaged: 2018-05-05 17:16:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,674
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5383838
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sarah1281/pseuds/Sarah1281
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>With Theodosia and Philip getting married, everyone just knows that their fathers will disapprove and ruin everything. Hamilton and Burr like to think their more reasonable than that even if no one else is convinced. In fact, the both fully support the marriage and are going to make this the best wedding ever. What's a little competition between sort-of in-laws?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Good Father or Greatest Father

Philip Hamilton and Theodosia Burr were always going to fit into one of two categories. 

They were either going to never be together because of their fathers’ or they were going to date because of their fathers’.

Never mind that literally any two people on the planet could be divided into ‘had dated’ or ‘hadn’t dated’. 

Alexander Hamilton and Aaron Burr had a complicated relationship. They might have been friends but politically they didn’t even officially agree on the things they agreed on because Hamilton always took it too far and Burr not far enough. 

Everyone had always looked at them like they were either the Hatfields and the McCoys or the Capulets and the Montagues. 

Never mind that they didn’t want to be caught up in any of that overdramatic family feud nonsense and just wanted to live their own lives. 

They met, they were friends, they dated, now they’re engaged. It didn’t feel even a little bit like they were caught up in some epic struggle and sometimes they even forgot that everyone behaved like they were. It was just nice and simple and easy. 

The only thing left to do was tell their families. 

It wasn’t as though they had set out to keep it a secret. They just neither were the type to kiss in public and eventually they realized that people – the public, their families – simply didn’t know. It became easier, then, to just not tell them. They hadn’t told them about all the people they had dated, just the important ones. And their relationship was important but while they were still figuring it out it was nice to keep it a relationship of two people not a relationship of two families and the entire American public. 

And then the proposal. 

And then they had to tell them. They probably should have told them before this; they definitely had to tell them now. 

They didn’t have to call them together or anything. Theodosia and her parents were already at Philip’s house for dinner. It was a good thing, too. It would have been obvious if they had had to call them all together and there’s little point in making an announcement if the announcement of the announcement gives it all away. 

“Oh my God, I just remembered,” Philip said, slightly horrified, right before they joined their families in the other room. 

“What?” Theodosia asked, frowning. That wasn’t the best sign. 

“I kind of didn’t talk to your father about the fact that I was going to ask you to marry me,” Philip said. 

“No,” Theodosia agreed, eyeing him strangely. “Because if you had then we wouldn’t have to tell him about it because he’d already know. And so would my mother and your parents and your seven siblings. And, knowing your father, he’d probably have called a press conference about it. So while I don’t know if I’d have been proposed to by proxy from your father or mine, it would have been really awkward and I probably wouldn’t have said yes.” 

“Well, yeah,” Philip said, laughing. “One for the kids, though!” 

“Oh, trust me, whatever kids we have will have plenty of material even without this,” Theodosia said. 

“It’s just…isn’t it a tradition or something to talk to the father of the bride before you ask her to be the bride?” Philip asked. 

“Since when do you care about tradition?” Theodosia asked. 

“Since I don’t want to start this marriage with your father hating me for not having done this right,” Philip said. 

“And you’re so sure my father would hate you for not going to him?” 

Philip shrugged. “Well I figure he’s not going to hate me for going to him, right?” 

“The tradition you’re thinking of is asking the father’s permission before you marry the girl,” Theodosia said. "It goes back to the time when a disapproving father literally meant you couldn’t get married, not that things would be a little awkward with the family. Would you really not marry me if he said no?” 

“Is that really what it is?” Philip asked, surprised. “I wouldn’t even ask him that! We’re both adults. Why do I need permission to marry you from anyone but you?” 

“You don’t,” Theodosia said. “You’re the one stressing about this.” 

“But surely guys nowadays don’t actually ask permission,” Philip said. “But I know guys still go to girls’ fathers and stuff.” 

“I think nowadays they ask for a blessing on the union,” Theodosia said. “It’s a little less awkward that way since we all know the father can’t stop the wedding unless the girl doesn’t want to get married without approval. It just seems really…cheap to ask permission if you fully intend to do what you want no matter what the answer is. And if you don’t get a blessing it might cause some bad feelings but it’s not like you asked if you could and ignored the answer. The intent to go forth anyway is clear.” 

“Maybe I can still do that later, then.” 

“You really should ask both of my parents for a blessing if you’re going to ask my father,” Theodosia advised. “If you can get my mother on your side my father will be easy. And I can ask your parents.” 

Philip frowned. “I don’t think that’s the tradition.” 

“It’s a nice gesture,” Theodosia said. “We are not slaves to tradition, you know. Now stop stalling and let’s do this.” 

“I’m not stalling,” Philip said unconvincingly. 

They went into the room and Philip cleared his throat nervously. “Um, we have an announcement to make.” 

Hamilton, being Hamilton, was the first to respond. “What? You’re getting married? Did anyone know you were getting married? I didn’t even know you were dating. Did you know he was dating Theodosia, Eliza? You can’t just drop these bombshells on someone! Why are we only finding out now that you’re engaged? You are only engaged, right? You didn’t elope, did you? Because if you did then I’m going to have to demand that you get an annulment and do it properly. I mean, really, it’s only your wedding. It’s not like this is a treasured moment that should ideally only come around once in your lifetime.” 

“Breathe,” Eliza advised. “Now, why don’t we let the children make their announcement before we decide what it is and start attacking them with questions.” 

“Um, that was actually it,” Philip said. “Dad was right.” 

Theodosia sighed. “Philip and I have been dating for the past eighteen months. He asked me to marry him two days ago and I said yes. We haven’t worked out any of the details yet. We’re sorry we didn’t tell you but we didn’t want it to become a headline and ruin our relationship before we were sure if this was something we wanted to try for the rest of our lives or not.” 

“Theodosia,” Theodosia’s mother (also named Theodosia and also going by Theodosia and wasn’t that confusing? For simplicity’s sake: Theo) said. “I understand not wanting the kind of attention and pressure that can come from the spotlight but why didn’t you tell us? We’re your family and we know how to keep a secret.” 

Everyone very carefully did not look at Hamilton who, for all his other virtues, could not keep a secret if his life depended on it. Oh, he may be able to hold off on revealing something to the world if it was time sensitive but eventually he was going to tell everybody all about it. He hadn’t even slept with Maria Reynolds and yet he’d still felt the need to tell everybody all about how he paid James Reynolds to keep her away from him. He had tried but it turned out he couldn’t get a restraining order against somebody because he thought he might sleep with them and couldn’t keep it in his pants. Admittedly, Jefferson was accusing him of embezzlement and Hamilton also really wanted to ask some pointed questions about why and how Jefferson knew so much about his private affairs and so Jefferson had also had to answer some awkward questions but everyone agreed that, really, the whole thing was ridiculous. 

“Maybe we should have,” Theodosia said. “But it would have changed everything and we weren’t sure we were ready. And now we are.” 

“Wait a minute,” Burr said. “What would it have changed? Are you suggesting that we would have made things in any way difficult for you?” 

“Do you approve of us, sir?” Philip asked. 

“Seriously?” Theodosia asked. “You’re doing this now?” 

Burr spared a second to glare at Hamilton for passing along bad habits to his son before answering. “I can’t say I approve of all this sneaking around. It seems as though you had something to hide or didn’t trust us.” 

“Did you think we wouldn’t approve?” Hamilton asked. “Is that it?” 

No one denied it fast enough. 

“And why is that?” Hamilton asked. “Is it because of me and Burr? Is it because of our long-standing political disagreements? Because I’ll have you know he was the first friend I ever had in this country and since we are literally having him and his wife and daughter over for dinner right now I hardly think we’re bitter enemies. Even with Eliza’s father’s senate seat, which I still think was a dick move, it’s really not that bad. Everyone just…exaggerates everything.” 

“You do come on a little strong,” Burr tempered. “But is that true, what he said? You thought I wouldn’t want my daughter marrying his son and he wouldn’t want his son marrying my daughter?” 

"Of course not!” Theodosia was quick to reassure her father. 

“No one thought that at all,” Philip quickly echoed. 

Everyone was quick to agree but the minute Hamilton could catch Burr alone, he said, “You know that everyone absolutely thinks that, right?” 

“Pretend I don’t live in your brain and tell me what I’m supposed to know that everyone absolutely thinks,” Burr replied. 

Hamilton hadn’t been able to stop thinking about it since it came up and he was pretty sure that Burr was the same way but he only rolled his eyes a little before he said, “They think we wouldn’t support our children as a couple.” 

“I don’t know why they would think that,” Burr said. “We have dinner every week.” 

“We do,” Hamilton agreed. “And we’ve been doing it for years. And we’ve only nearly dueled like six times.”

“I think you’ll find, Hamilton, that we’ve never come close to dueling.” 

Hamilton gave Burr the same incredulous and slightly contemptuously pitying look he gave everyone who dared to say that he was wrong about something. “If you’d like we can go back over my accounts-”

“No, no, let’s not bring your obsessive tally of everything you’ve ever done into this,” Burr interrupted. “I don’t know about the number but if you say it’s six then I’m sure it was six. I just seem to recall what happened is you’ve gotten drunk a few times and challenged me to duels but you’ve gotten drunk and accused pretty much everyone you know to a duel.” 

“I do not.” 

“You’ve challenged all of your friends and Washington and Eliza and Theo and your younger son Philip even though he is literally three years old and I have no idea why you like the name Philip so much you’d name two sons that,” Burr said. 

“You really have no room to talk. After eight kids you start running out of names,” Hamilton said. “Theodosia and Theodosia?” 

“Eliza and Eliza,” Burr countered. “And that’s naming my daughter after her mother, not either naming two kids after your father-in-law or naming one kid after the other kid. It’s weird, is what I’m saying.” 

“I don’t care what people think of my naming practices,” Hamilton said. “Eliza and I are very happy with our choices.” 

“Sometimes I worry about that woman more than I worry about you,” Burr said. “Seeing as how she seems to be happy to be married to you.” 

“I’m sure Eliza will be very glad that you are so concerned for her,” Hamilton said, a bit stiffly. “But I assure you, it is unnecessary.” 

“And I don’t think you were even drunk the four times you challenged Jefferson to a duel.” 

“Okay, maybe not, but can you really blame me?” 

Burr couldn’t but he refrained from saying that because he didn’t put it past Jefferson to somehow find out that he did. “Of course I can. Nobody has even dueled anybody for two hundred years. Can’t you just get into a fistfight like a normal person?” 

“I’m a little confused, Burr. Are you suggesting that I engage in a fistfight with my three-year-old son? Because I get the feeling that that might be kind of irresponsible parenting.” 

Burr rolled his eyes. “Of course I’m not but you shouldn’t go around challenging him to a duel anyway.”

“We actually did duel, you know,” Hamilton confided. 

“What.” 

“Oh, don’t look at me like that,” Hamilton said. “Eliza was the referee and she thought it was cute.” 

“You’re not making me feel any better about this. Besides, I thought duels had seconds and not referees.” 

“Duels can have whatever you want them to have,” Hamilton said knowledgably. “We just threw stuffed animals at each other.” 

Burr raised an eyebrow. 

“I missed!” Hamilton defended himself. “He, I should mention, did not.” 

“Why did you challenge him to a duel anyway?” 

“He woke me up at three in the morning,” Hamilton explained. “He didn’t manage to wake his mother up, only me. And he can pretend he didn’t know what time it is all he wants but he knew. He knew.” 

“I don’t even know what to say to that.” 

“At least it’s better than laughing in my face which is what my dear sister-in-law did,” Hamilton said. “Anyway, I’m just saying that we should reinstate the duel. What’s so wrong about that?” 

“Everything,” Burr said. “Everything is what is wrong with that.” 

“That is so very helpful, Burr, you have no idea,” Hamilton said dryly. 

“Look, if you want to get yourself killed there are easier ways.” 

“Hey, what makes you think I’d get myself killed? I could win!” 

“Win all of them?” Burr asked. “Because one of those times you challenged Jefferson to a duel you challenged his entire party – is that one of the times you’re counting the duel with me, by the way? – and that is in a way literally half the country. Sooner or later someone is actually going to shoot you and if I have to keep watching you act like someone out of Pride and Prejudice then it might just be me.” 

“I don’t even know what to address first,” Hamilton said. “The fact you just threatened me or the fact you think there were duels in Pride and Prejudice. And no, I didn’t count that because we all know you don’t actually have any political beliefs you’re willing to defend and you just call yourself a member of his party to get elected.” 

“Not this again! This is about our children getting married, not politics.” 

“Literally everything in our lives is about politics in some form or another, including why our children didn’t tell us, apparently,” Hamilton disagreed. “And I think we’ve moved on to dueling anyway.” 

“I didn’t threaten you,” Burr insisted. 

“I’m not so sure a judge would agree. And, really, I know Jane Austen adaptations can take a lot of liberties – wasn’t there one with a zombie or something? – but really. Sense and Sensibility had a duel in the background but that’s not the same thing.” 

“Why do you even know that much about Jane Austen? And don’t you dare blame Eliza’s reading taste because I won’t believe you,” Burr said. 

“Of course I know Jane Austen. I know everything,” Hamilton said. “And if I don’t then I will.” 

He would, too. 

Burr sighed and shook his head. “I think we were talking about how ridiculous it is that people think we would stand in the way of Philip and Theodosia given that we’re something approaching friends.” 

“Yeah, it might help if you could just call us friends,” Hamilton said. “I’ve always called you my friend.” 

“You declared our friendship was over after I beat Philip Schuyler out for his senate seat. And I don’t think you’re completely over that yet.” 

“But, to be fair, when I am completely over anything?” Hamilton asked. “It doesn’t make this special.”

“I mean, you’re not denying it.” 

Hamilton shrugged. “Would anyone believe me if I did? But really, we’re fine. And even if we weren’t, what kind of nonsense is forbidding people to date because you don’t like their parents? I mean, it was really important to Eliza that her father liked me and I didn’t want to make her life harder so I did it but this is the 21st century. They could fly to Vegas and be married in a few hours and we couldn’t stop them.” 

“So we agree we wouldn’t want to stand in their way,” Burr said. 

“I would give my life for Philip. Of course I’m going to support his choice of partner! I mean, it’s just your daughter. It’s not like he wanted to marry Lucy Jefferson.” 

“So in some cases you’d oppose who your son wants to marry,” Burr said. 

“I mean, at some point you can’t just respect your children’s choices but have to let them know that enough is enough,” Hamilton said. “But hey, if Adams had any children that weren’t ten years older than Philip I could live with that. And I like you way more than I like him!” 

Burr let out a startled laugh. “I should hope so! No matter what I’ve done or ever will do.” 

“Yeah…You know, I do believe that their hatred of me was a factor that brought them back together,” Hamilton said. “I sent them a cake with my face on it. I’m sure they enjoyed hacking my image to pieces. But we’ve been talking about how I would support my son in whatever he chose as long as it wasn’t ridiculous like a serial killer or Jefferson’s spawn or something. What about you? Do you have a problem being related to me?” 

“I don’t think this makes me related to you,” Burr said. 

“We will be in-laws,” Hamilton said. 

“I don’t think that’s right. Your son and I will be in-laws and you and my daughter will be in-laws but we wouldn’t be.” 

“We’re joining families anyway,” Hamilton insisted. “So…were they wrong about me but right about you?” 

“The hell I am being the unreasonable one in any room that happens to have you in it,” Burr said. 

Hamilton drew back. “Well that’s a little offensive. I’m not an irrational man.” 

Burr stared at him. 

“And even if I were, which I’m not, you can’t get much more irrational than refusing to have political opinions when you are in politics and hold office,” Hamilton said. 

Burr made a big show of checking his watch. “Wow, I think we made it seven minutes without you bringing that up.” 

Hamilton frowned. “I think I’m starting to see why they were worried. But I just want you to know that I couldn’t have wished for a better daughter-in-law than Theodosia. There will not be a happier and more welcoming father-in-law than me.”

“Except for me,” Burr said. “Because let me tell you, if Theodosia hadn’t evidently already had the thought herself I was absolutely going to suggest that she and Philip go out. They really do make a wonderful couple.” 

And even though neither of them said anything, they both knew that they were now competing for the title of most supportive father. Hamilton never could stand to come in second at any time to anyone in his life. Burr only had one child and only one shot at this and he really was sick of Hamilton managing to come in ahead at literally everything. 

“I really hope that you’re not upset, dad,” Philip said later that night. “It’s not that I didn’t trust you! But everyone makes such a big thing about you and her dad and I figured we didn’t need the complication.” 

“Of course I don’t mind, son,” Hamilton assured him. “I’m proud of you for putting your relationship first and thinking about what was best for Theodosia. You’re going to need to do that a lot once you get married. Marriage is all about compromise.” 

“Really?” Eliza asked when they were alone. “You hate being the last to know and you and Burr always do seem to end up fighting.” 

“It’s how we show our affection,” Hamilton declared. “Do I wish we could have been told earlier? Of course. But I support this wedding one hundred percent and I’m looking forward to welcoming Theodosia into our family.” 

“You know you’re not on camera, right?” Eliza asked. “It’s just me. And whatever this is, it’s a bad idea.” 

“Supporting our children is a bad idea?” Hamilton asked innocently. “Why Eliza, I’m surprised at you!” 

“I just didn’t want to disappoint you, Father,” Theodosia was saying. “Philip is a lot like his father, though not quite as rash, and I know you would never dream of just watching me marry him.” 

“I should say not,” Burr said. “He’s twice your age and already married. And he evidently needs to pay people so they won’t let him cheat on his wife with them. I really don’t understand how revealing that didn’t lead to all manner of people throwing themselves at him hoping to be similarly bribed but I suspect Angelica might have had something do with that.” 

Theodosia laughed. “I just thought it’d be easier asking for forgiveness than permission, as the old saying go.” 

“Well you have no need of either, I’m sure,” Burr said. “I’m happy for you.” 

“I know you would never want to hurt our daughter,” Theo said a little later. “But tell me, if it weren’t a matter of Theodosia’s happiness on the line and you were just asked if you were okay with being bound in marriage to Alexander Hamilton through our children, would you be alright with it?” 

“He may not be the first person I’d think of to want as an in-law if we were choosing based on that,” Burr conceded. “But he’s far from the last. I mean, can you imagine if Washington had any actual children? He’d spend the whole time wishing I were someone he actually liked like Lafayette or Hamilton. And Theodosia would like him better than me, too.” 

“You know she doesn’t,” Theo assured him. 

“Maybe not now but if he were going to be her father-in-law, he’d make sure of it,” Burr said grimly. “I do not trust that man.” 

As the months passed, it quickly became obvious to everyone that something was going on. 

Hamilton did interviews where he cried and professed that this wedding was going to be the happiest day of his life. Burr bought their wedding a national commercial that aired during the Super Bowl. Hamilton purchased a star and named it after Theodosia. Burr (who had already years ago bought Theo a star so now there were two stars with the exact same name and no that wasn’t at all confusing) managed to pull some strings and get permission for the pair to be married and to hold the reception at the White House despite the president and Hamilton hating each other about as much as it was possible for two people to hate each other. 

Eliza and Theo began to have a lot of concerned lunches where they commiserated with each other about how their husbands just had to turn everything into a competition. 

“They are not going to get over the fact that we thought they might oppose the wedding anytime soon, are they?” Theo asked, sighing. 

“I’ve given up expecting Alexander to get over anything,” Eliza said. “But it could be worse.” 

“It could be worse,” Theo repeated. “The four words nobody says unless things are already pretty bad.” 

“True,” Eliza conceded. “But it’s better that than tempting fate with ‘at least it can’t get worse.’”

“And your husband does dearly love to tempt fate,” Theo said. “I am still marveling at his ability to work the word ‘Macbeth’ into the conversation so many times whenever we go to the theater.” 

“Alexander doesn’t approve of superstitions,” Eliza said, a bit apologetically. “He says it breeds ignorance and he is not here to indulge anyone.”

“And yet he went into politics?” 

Eliza shook her head at that. “I don’t know if I blame Washington for that or his need to change the world. But I guess he does alright.” 

“More than alright, I’d say,” Theo said. “But then I never went into politics myself so who knows how actual politicians measure these things?” 

“Why get into politics when you can do something that pays more and doesn’t require you to reapply for your job every few years?” Eliza asked rhetorically. 

Theo grinned. “See, that’s what I told Aaron. He doesn’t believe me.” 

“And how the wedding is this big event and I’m kind of waiting to see which one of them tries to get their wedding day declared a national holiday first,” Eliza said. 

Theo considered it. “Well, right now I think Aaron has more pull with the White House.” 

“But that’s an executive order. It might be quicker but Alexander’s party has more seats in Congress.” 

“I love how we’re not even wondering if this will happen but when and how,” Theo said. 

“We do know our husbands,” Eliza said. 

“I just don’t understand it. Normally Aaron is such a sensible man but something about your husband brings out his inner eight-year-old.” 

“I’ll have you know that Alexander is the most sensible of men when people agree with him,” Eliza confided. 

Theo laughed. “I’ll just bet he is.” 

“So who do you think will win this latest competition of theirs?” 

“Nobody,” Theo said. “Nobody will win this. Except maybe for the kids when someone buys them the moon.” 

“Is the moon even for sale? I just feel like it’s not,” Eliza said. 

“You say that now. There are still four months until the wedding.” 

Philip and Theodosia were torn between being completely mortified and seizing this marvelous opportunity. 

“I’m just saying, it is a really good thing that mom comes from money and has such a high-paying job,” Philip was saying. “Because this is seriously getting ridiculous. And my siblings will never speak to me again when the time comes for them to get married and no one goes through this much effort.” 

“Well they just need to find another political rival of your father’s and marry one of their kids,” Theodosia said. “He has so many of them. Or would marrying someone just to get a fancy wedding be considered too excessive?” 

Philip laughed. “You are such an only child. When it comes to sibling rivalry, nothing is ever too excessive. And Angelica has been dating Lucy Jefferson for three weeks. But dad’s so much younger than most of his rivals that their kids are all too old, too.” 

“I think we’re getting sucked up into the crazy,” Theodosia realized. “I didn’t want to say anything but this is the real reason I didn’t want to tell them right away.” 

“Why fight it?” Philip asked, laughing. “Let’s milk this for all it’s worth.” 

“Hey, you refused to go outside for two whole days after that interview your father did,” Theodosia pointed out. 

“Okay, do I wish they could be less embarrassing about this and just let this be the normal paparazzi pretending our lives are news fest? Naturally. But since evidently that’s not going to happen, we really do have to just ride this out,” Philip said. “It’s not going away no matter what we do so now’s the time to really go wile. You never got a pony when you were a kid? Now’s the time to ask. There will never be a better time except possibly when we have a baby.” 

“Philip don’t be ridiculous,” Theodosia admonished. A beat. “Of course my father got me a pony when I was a kid. What do you take him for?” 

“I’m just saying, I want a three month honeymoon,” Philip said. 

“Three months?” Theodosia repeated. “Aren’t most honeymoons like a week or two?” 

Philip shrugged. “Maybe. But do most couples have their parents – or at least their fathers – out buying stars for them? I read that in the olden days rich people had protracted honeymoons and just chilled in Europe for months on end. Well, we’re rich and I want to do that.” 

“That seems a little irresponsible,” Theodosia said uncertainly. 

“Think of it this way. There’s nothing irresponsible about asking for what you want, right?” Philip asked. “So we do that. It might be irresponsible for them to give it to us but since when has that ever stopped them? And if they do give it to us, how not only irresponsible but rude and ungrateful of us not to take them up on that offer?” 

Theodosia was grinning now. “Well, when you put it that way…I knew there was a reason I was marrying you.” 

The wedding took place in the morning. Washington was officiating because Hamilton was in this to win. Angelica convinced him to pose with one of his portraits and then went over to hold hands with Lucy in front of her father which quickly elevated her to Burr’s favorite Hamilton child. Pretty much every politician in Washington was in attendance. Jefferson was there even though nobody wanted him to be but they couldn’t very well try and keep him out when it was his home they were using for the wedding. Jefferson invited two hundred people to the wedding which was a little rude but, well, his house. 

The ceremony was beautiful. The only slight hitch was when Washington asked if anyone had any reason why they shouldn’t get married and Jefferson stood up. The Hamilton and Burr families were pretty sure he just did that to fuck with Hamilton but all he did was congratulate them, remind everyone he was the president, and to sit back down. James Madison came up to them afterwards to apologize and stayed until Hamilton started asking what kind of blackmail Jefferson must have on him because he used to be such a great guy. 

Then came the reception. 

Burr spoke for an hour about how much he loved Philip and how much he supported the marriage. Coincidentally, soon after he began to speak, Hamilton pulled out his brick of notecards and began scribbling frantically. Somehow it seemed Burr managed to say all the things Hamilton himself was planning on saying. Hamilton still managed to give a three hour speech. 

Fortunately, they were permitted to eat during the speech and the second Hamilton sat down for a second everyone sprinted for the dance floor. 

“I’m proud of us,” Hamilton said once Eliza had made him dance for the first fifteen songs. 

“Oh?” Burr asked. 

“We really came together and gave them the best wedding anyone could ever have,” Hamilton said. “Even if Jefferson was there. But I suppose he’d insist on coming regardless just to ruin everyone’s good time. Can you even believe he stood up during the speak now moment?” 

“Yes,” Burr said. “Are you saying you can’t?” 

“Well, no. Or yes. Or…yeah, it is something he would do. But every time I think ‘no, I must be exaggerating, he can’t be that much of an asshole’ he does it. He’s rather dependable that way, you know.”

“That is the most charitable I’ve ever heard you describe him.” 

“Don’t be ridiculous, Burr,” Hamilton said. “I spoke about him before I had met him, surely.” 

Burr laughed at that. 

“At least I can stand to be in a room with his wife for five minutes without wanting to challenge her to a duel. And no, that does not have more to do with me than to him. Also, I can’t believe you stole half of my material for your speech,” Hamilton grumbled. “I mean, how did you even know? I didn’t work on it in front of you or leave my notes out.” 

“I’m sure I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Burr said smoothly. “But, if I did, then I could only do it because I know you so well. And if I really stole half your speech and saved the guests from having to listen to you going on for six fucking hours then I believe that everybody here owes me a debt that they will never truly be able to repay.” 

Hamilton just rolled his eyes. “My speech was beautiful.” 

“And three times as long as mine was. And Theodosia told me afterwards that maybe I should have cut it down some.” 

Hamilton couldn’t resist. “Would that be your wife or your daughter?” 

“You ever get tired of making that joke after more than twenty years?” 

“Does it look like I ever get tired of jokes, Aaron Burr, sir?” Hamilton countered. 

Burr just sighed. 

“But really, everyone was so worried about us not supporting our precious little children and we have given them what may very well be the best weddings in the history of all weddings,” Hamilton said. 

“And damn was it expensive. Really makes me glad I don’t have to throw another twenty,” Burr said. 

“Twenty? Burr, I only have seven other kids. Surely you don’t think all of their marriages are going to fall apart, do you?” 

“Oh, no, I was making allowances for the other twelve kids I’m sure you and Eliza will have,” Burr said innocently.

“Hey, I never had a family after my mother died and my brother…what did happen to my brother?” Hamilton wondered before shrugging it off. “So I’m always down for more family and you know Eliza has fourteen brothers and sisters. As long as she’s willing to keep getting pregnant I see no reason to stop at eight.” 

“Not even if you continue not to be able to think of names and have to name the next two Angelica and Alexander again?” Burr asked. 

“That was…it was a complicated situation…we’re not that unoriginal!” Hamilton exclaimed. 

“You know if you give any less to your other children for their weddings they will never forgive you, right?” Burr asked. 

“I’ll worry about it later,” Hamilton said. “They’re all much too young to get married.” 

“Angelica is literally two years younger than Philip and only one year older than Theodosia,” Burr pointed out. 

“Don’t be ridiculous, Burr. Theodosia is thirty-six years older than my darling Angelica,” Hamilton said. “And if she keeps this up with Lucy I’ll just make Jefferson foot the bill.” 

“Wait, are you saying that you’ve come around on the notion of one of your children marrying one of his?” Burr asked, surprised. Hamilton wasn’t really known for coming around on things. Ever. 

“Of course,” Hamilton said virtuously. “I have to prove I’m a better and more supportive father than him somehow, right? How about you? Would you be fine with a hypothetical other child of yours marrying one of Jefferson’s kids?” 

“We actually get along far better than you two do,” Burr said. “It’s how I got the wedding here. Not that that’s really saying much, all things considered.” 

“No, perhaps not.” 

“And what about us?” Burr asked. “Who won there?” 

“You mean other than our beloved children who have such wonderful and supportive fathers that they really should have had more faith in instead of expecting us to throw a fit because sometimes we argue?” Hamilton asked rhetorically. “That depends. Will you back me against Jefferson?” 

“In what capacity?” Burr asked suspiciously. 

Hamilton laughed. “In the ‘who is the better father’ competition, naturally. You’re so suspicious.” 

“You give me reason to be,” Burr said. “Don’t forget that time that you tricked me into agreeing to head up a senate subcommittee you wanted to form when you started off suggesting a playdate for the kids.” 

“I regret nothing,” Hamilton said. 

“You rarely ever do,” Burr said. “Certainly not as much as you should.” 

Hamilton was still waiting. “Well?” 

Burr sighed. “Fine.” 

“Then I’m willing to concede that it is a tie and, both being wonderful and supportive fathers, we have been equally wonderful and supportive throughout this process,” Hamilton said. “And Philip and Theodosia are lucky to have us.” 

“I’ll drink to that.” 

“Do you think it’s finally over?” Theodosia asked. 

Philip groaned. “Unfortunately, it probably is.” 

“Unfortunately? They gave us a six month honeymoon. I don’t even want to think about how much this wedding cost. And they were starting to scare me, just a little,” Theodosia said. 

“They were just trying to be supportive fathers,” Philip said. 

“This was their vengeance on us, wasn’t it?” Theodosia asked. 

“Giving us everything we ever wanted and more? I’m not sure they really know what revenge is. And I’m certainly not going to tell them.” 

“I’m just saying, I have never had a more ridiculous year,” Theodosia said. “And our families, well mostly your family…Well, mostly your dad, can get really ridiculous.” 

“Ah, don’t worry about it,” Philip said. “I’m happy, you’re happy, they’re happy, we’re all happy. And the media is probably so sick of us that they’ll leave us alone forever.”

“Or at least until they think I’m pregnant,” Theodosia said. “You know we can’t name him after either of our father’s right.” 

“You’re absolutely right,” Philip agreed. “That would be literally the worst thing that could ever happen and one of fathers might end up killing the other.” 

“It’s too bad, though. I always did like the name Aaron,” Theodosia said wistfully. 

Philip laughed. “Don’t worry. I’ll get my mom to name my next brother that. Trust me, after my brother Philip I think they’re running out of ideas and I think she can spin it in a way that will convince my dad. Probably start another mini-war but it’ll convince him.” 

“As long as it’s a sort of productive one like this where they, I don’t know, overly dote on the baby I guess that would be okay. Though he might end up really spoiled.” 

“Nah, Mom knows what she’s doing on the raising kids front,” Philip said. “I don’t know what you do when you need to make a point to your father-”

“Usually I just look at him sadly and he caves.” 

Philip grinned. “Nice. But as for me all I have to do is call George Washington ‘Grandpa George’. In fact, I think I’ll go do that in a minute.” 

“Really?” Theodosia asked curiously. “How does that end up working?” 

“Well we all pretty much consider him my dad’s dad and thus my grandpa so no problems there. But it sends my dad into a tizzy. And he kind of deserves it, too. A three hour speech? Even Jefferson only gave a fifteen minute one when he interrupted our wedding.”

“You could always tell him that,” Theodosia suggested. 

Philip stared at her in horror. “There is a line. There is a line you do not cross. I want vengeance, not to break my father’s spirit.” 

“Break your father’s spirit,” Theodosia repeated, nodding. “I’m going to have to remember that one.” 

“Theodosia!” 

“What?” she asked innocently. “You know there will be other three hour speeches.” 

“We’ll figure something out,” he promised. “You know, despite all the drama and histrionics, this was a pretty nice wedding.” 

“It was the best,” Theodosia agreed. “And I’ll fight anyone who says otherwise.” 

Philip laughed. “Now there’s the Hamilton spirit! Don’t worry, you’ll fit right in.” 

“And so will you,” Theodosia said. “My father’s pride would never allow for anything else.”


End file.
